Jacob & Noelle's Blog

5 Tips for a Successful Marriage: A Perspective from a Newlywed

I can't believe it.  I have been married to my beautiful bride, Noelle for over a year now.  I know we fall into the "newlywed" category, but it feels like we've been married for years!  

I won't lie and say it's been the easiest year, but I will say it's been life-changing.  This past year has presented hefty challenges and there have been many hard lessons - lessons I'm still learning, but this is how the Lord refines us, isn't it?  It is intriguing to me how God uses marriage to do major heart work. Not only do I have a best friend for life, but I get to wake up to a mirror day after day.  Believe you me - it's not always easy, but I wouldn't change it for the world.  I love how Noelle is honest with me.  I love when I screw up, she's the one to let me know.  I thought since I'm classified as newly married, I would voice my perspective on the recipe for a successful, lasting marriage.  Here are 5 tips for making your marriage last.

1. Make yourself available: I was 30yrs old when I got married, so it's fairly easy to fall back into the rut of a single 30yr old.  Obviously, when you become a Christian, it's about laying your life down for God.  Well, as we lay our lives down for Jesus, you should also do the same for your bride. 
2. Become a Master at serving: Foot rub? Back rub? Take out the trash? Serve, serve and continue to serve when you think you've served enough.  It's not easy, but leading a marriage is all about serving.
3. Affirm, affirm & affirm some more: I learned in the first weeks of being married that affirmation is key in communicating value.  It's important to me, but it speaks volumes to Noelle.  If I start the day out with, "Noelle, you are so beautiful," there is a good chance it would make her day.  It would definitely put a smile on her face.
4. Be the spiritual leader:  I'm being somewhat vulnerable sharing this one.  As the man and head, you must be the spiritual leader of your marriage.  I haven't done a great job of leading our marriage in this area and need to step it up.  Being married to a pastor, it's easy to let things ride and get comfortable. I've been recently convicted of this so that's why I'm including it in my top 5.  
5. Rest: When you date, you should balance your personal/social life with your dating relationship. This doesn't end when you get married.  In fact, it's just as important from my perspective. Stay engaged with your friends - together and separately!  But make sure you have specific times set aside for just you and your spouse.  And of course, rest.  Noelle and I got married and then found ourselves completely consumed by work.  We were both working full-time jobs and then we were heavily involved in church activities.  This is not a good start to a marriage.  We could ride it out for a season, but quickly realized this was not a recipe for success.  The Bible is very clear on this matter.  In fact, the Bible mentions the word sabbath 151 times.  Do you remember the ten commandments?  

In retrospect, as I sit here and blog these "practical tips" for the world to see, I feel as though I'm writing my own accountability plan.  Knowing some of my closer friends will make comments in jest, I'm excited to look back at this blog to reflect - to see what was important to me in my early years of marriage.  My prayer is that I will wake up one morning, years from now, look into my mirror and see nothing but smiles.

  

An Update from Jacob & Noelle

It has been nearly two months since we published our first newsletter.  This past week, we have been diligently working on our second update and we are excited to share it with you.

It's full of great information and will continue to serve as tool to communicate our heart, current happenings and our needs.  As we share about our lives, we also want to hear from you!  We want to know what's happening in your lives and how we can pray for you.  So after reading, take a few minutes - leave a blog comment or shoot us an email and fill us in.

In our January/February update, we communicated our plans to move in with Jacob's Dad.  Well, with lots of great help, we did it.  We are totally settled in and loving our new place.  We are located in Monument, Colorado, which is about 10 minutes north of Colorado Springs.  It's amazingly quiet here - so much peace which is a nice change from living in an apartment.  We are truly blessed to live here rent free which will help us stay on track.

Another big hurdle that's been worked through recently is establishing our first budget.  It's still in draft form and will need some tweaking, but we are thankful to have the foundation laid and a dollar goal in mind while raising support.  We need to raise $4,000 a month to cover basics and to sow back into In His Steps International.  In His Steps is the ministry we are partnering with when we move to Cambodia.  We've also established a fund to support our efforts in transitioning to Cambodia.  This fund will allow us to pre-pay 6 months of rent, utilities and some other necessities.  This fund is also for one time items such as a motorcycle.  If you are interested in contributing to this fund, you can contact Jacob or Noelle at jacobgoodlin@me.com, or you can make a tax-deductible donation at http://blog.jakeandnoelle.com by following the "Donate" button in the upper right-hand corner of the blog.  You will be taken to a secure PayPal site designated to Noelle and I from In His Steps.  Below is a portion from our budget worksheet that breaks down our needs for transition.

Thanks again for being a part of our lives.  We cherish your relationship and look forward to hearing from you in the near future.  Enjoy the newsletter and feel free to leave a comment.

Read our update here: Download March - April Update_OPT

Want to support us financially? Download this form, fill it out electronically, save it and simply email it back to jacobgoodlin@me.com. Download Commitment Form_Fill

Blessings,

Jacob & Noelle

A Tutorial on How to Leave a Comment

While browsing the internet tonight, I discovered this sweet tool called Jing, by Techsmith.  It's a free utility that allows you to make videos that capture voice and whatever is on your screen.  I had to play, so I made a video to show blog readers how to leave a comment on a TypePad blog.  

I wonder sometimes if folks even know if they are able to leave a comment.  Anyways, I played with the tool and found it to be quite intuitive.  It's definitely worth checking out, especially because it's free! There is a version for both Mac and Windows clients.  Additionally, you get a free account with screencast.com.  Screencast is for sharing and storing your videos.  If you get the Pro version of Jing ($14/yr), you can create your videos in high-quality Mp4 and you have the ability to upload your videos directly to YouTube.  If you don't want to share your video, you can simply save it to your hard drive.

It's amazing to see technology evolve, so I'm sure this will be no big deal in 6 months.  In the meantime, I feel like I found gold.  Try it out!

Here is the link to the video I was talking about.  I've also embedded the HTML (YouTube) to watch it right here. Just click on the PLAY button.  

This is not a technology blog, but I happen to be an IT Nerd, so every so often, I may throw something up related to technology.  It's fun!

Btw, stay tuned for our next newsletter - should be coming out soon.

Jacob

A Little Side Gig...Photography?

In 1999, I got the opportunity to go on a missions trip to Kenya, Africa for 30 days.  Our team consisted of 12-13 Juniors and Seniors and I was part of a 5 person leadership team.  I was only 19 at the time and this was my first real leadership experience.  To say the least, it was quite stretching.

Off we go - 8hr trip to London and then one final leg to Nairobi, Kenya.  Of course I had packed my entire room it seemed, and I hadn't forgotten my trusty 35 mm Minolta SLR - my first one, in fact.  I was so excited to snap a few pics.  Well, to my surprise, I took over 400 pictures that trip and that's with film.  Yes, you heard right...film was my source of recording this momentous experience.  From the airports of London and Germany to the fields of the Masai Mara National Park, I shot and shot until I couldn't afford anymore film.  

Here is one of the great photos I captured.  I know there is some shadow issues and the annoying timestamp definitely gets on my nerves, but you have to admit that this is a decent photo.  

Here is another one from the safari we went on:

So this is a Cheetah for those who don't know their African animals. Ha! 

After getting home, I soon discovered that the cost of developing film is definitely expensive.  

As the years went on, I continued to putter around with my camera not realizing the Lord had given me a gift.  

That leads me to the point of this blog.  About 1yr ago, I started to get serious with Photography. I saved up for my first Digital SLR (Nikon D80) and loved it.  I quickly found myself asking questions like, why don't I charge for my services.  Soon enough, I was making money with this new found gift of mine.  The Lord has really started to open doors to help Noelle and I make a little extra money to help us reach our goal of moving to Cambodia.  Reaching our goal requires us first to get out of debt, so instead of getting a side job at Gap, I decided I could be more successful at shooting photographs.

I definitely feel like my strength is in portraits and families.  This coming summer, my main focus will be Senior Photography.  Have a Senior in your house?  Give me a call :)

I decided to blog on this because it's been a great tool for Noelle and I to raise awareness of what our calling is.  It's so fun to tell folks how and why we are in the photography business.  Help support us and refer "jacob goodlin photography" to your friends and family.  Better yet, feel free to contact us for your own family session.  

How to find me!

• Attached is a little marketing tool I put together - Senior Photo drop card Download Senior Drop_blog
• Website: http://www.jacobgoodlinphotography.com  
• Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lookphotography/ 
• New Photography blog: http://blog.jakeandnoelle.com/jacob_goodlin_photography 
• And of course, you can always call me at 719.930.3667 or email me at jacobgoodlin@me.com

This has been an evolving gift and I feel like I'm learning new things everytime I pick up my camera. 

Currently, I shoot with a Nikon D300 and have a set of various pro/prime lenses.  The D300 is such a great piece of equipment and has served me well.

Look forward to hearing from you!

Jacob

  

Our First Newsletter

Friends, it brings me great joy to be able to write and say we have officially completed our first newsletter.  Yes, it's just a piece of paper, but it's a tool to communicate our hearts and what the Lord has called us to.

It's vibrant - full of wonderful photos and words that account for the responsibility we feel to go to Cambodia.  Noelle and I really can't express in words how excited we are to finally be reaching our goal of making it to Cambodia.  No, we are not leaving tomorrow, but all the pieces are slowly coming together which we are super excited about.

Please continue to pray as we prepare.  Once you read the attached newsletter, you will have all the juicy details but a few of the next steps are:

1. Hack away at our debt.  We still have $20K plus to plow through, but we are taking steps to make sure we are out soon and hit our target.
2. Move in with my Dad in March.  This will enable us to save and contribute more to our debt.
3. Support strategy.  As a man, this is a big challenge for me - knowing I have a wife to look after.  We are changing the way we do life - living by faith and trusting that the Lord provides our month to month financial needs.  I continue to battle with a strategy to effectively raise adequate support to meet our needs.  Our goal is raise above and beyond make it possible to sow into In His Steps.

We want to thank you.  Your prayers and financial support have further confirmed in our hearts the direction God is leading us. 

To receive updates, please continue to check out this blog.  You may also subscribe if you are interested in automatically receiving updates.

Download Jan - Feb Update

Blessings,
Jacob & Noelle

Take-Aways

I can’t believe Noelle and I leave tomorrow. The time here has flown by so fast and there is a whirlwind of emotions we are both processing.  I can speak for Noelle and say the Lord is continuing to swell our hearts for the Cambodian people. The Lord is doing some major heart work in us and defining our vision for the future – very exciting! 

As our time winds down here, we want to share a few take-aways.

Jacob:

• It's much harder to say goodbye than I thought:  I think because of the long-term roots that are being planted, relationships being developed and thinking about our future plans here, I've found myself on the verge of tears a few times already.  I don't like crying :)
• Friends?  One fear I've been working through was that I would have no deep relationships here.  Well, after these past two weeks, I think God will take care of this area just fine.  Eric & Ginny Hanson, founders of In His Steps are becoming great friends.  Pheaktra and Vouen (IHSC - In His Steps Cambodia Staff) are silly and goofy just like me.  I'm sure we will get along just fine.  Sarith is the country director, and I probably spent the most time with him.  He's a great guy and will be my comrade for many years to come.  God has already blessed me with quality relationships that will only deepen and I'm not even here permanently yet!  God is so good.
• A burden for the lost: The Lord is doing a serious work in me for the lost.  He's planting something deep in me - a burden to see the lost come to Him.  I've never felt this way before.
• A greater understanding of the Word: Eric Hanson is a wise man.  I've been so impressed with his ability to extract information from the Bible and explain it so well.  He's also challenged me in an indirect way to tackle the Word and Prayer like never before.  I'm excited to experience a greater understanding and more intimacy with the Lord.

Noelle:

• Watching Jacob Come Alive: There is nothing quite like watching someone you deeply love begin to grow in new ways. Five years ago, God began speaking to me in a new way about missions. Two years ago, something deeper happened with Cambodia. Now to see Jacob connecting in the same way has strengthened my faith that God is more than able to accomplish His plans and purposes in our lives.
• A Thankful Heart: Being here reminds me of how my life is so rich. Coming, I have asked the question of "what will it be like to live here?" In the midst of pondering and praying, what has resounded most is how blessed I truly am. I love my family, my friends, theMILL, my husband, my God. Now God is teaching me to love Cambodia. It is a privilege to follow Jesus along the way (everyone, read Eugene!).
• My Home is with God: How do you live connected with two places? How do you live fully wherever you are, whatever you do? The answer I arrive at is to attach my heart even more steadfastly to God. My life calling is not to a particular place but to a King, a King and Father who loves all people in all places. I think that is the fullest way to move through life.

To conclude, please take a moment and read over some prayer requests. 

• Apartment - we are excited about finding a nice plate to retreat to at the end of the night.  Please pray the Lord opens the right place at the right price.
• Vision - please pray for the Lord to continue to define our vision.
• Debt - we still have a good amount of debt to plow through before we can call Cambodia our home.  Please pray the Lord helps us continue to tighten our budget so that we can get through the rest of our debt in a reasonable amount of time.
• Protection - we discovered that the enemy is in attack mode while we've been here in Cambodia.  Please pray for protection.

See most of you in a few days!

Jacob and Noelle

Reflections on Our First Year

The last couple of days have been a little change of pace. Yesterday we went apartment hunting. Obviously, we aren't renting one yet but just wanted to do a little price comparison so we have an idea of where we might want to live when we return. Everything from Kmher style to Western is available. Then, after lunch with the In His Steps staff (Sri Poa, the cook, is taking a few lessons and we are looking forward to cinnabons when we return to the ministry house today -- woohoo!), we left on a Tuk Tuk with our favorite driver, Savon, to spend the night at The Quay, a sweet modern style hotel. We have been in anniversary celebration mode ever since! Yesterday we walked along the riverfront and people-watched, walked through a local market, took naps and read. We went out for a nice dinner at the FCC and enjoyed our hotel. It's been great! We find it difficult to believe we have been married a year. The time has gone so quickly but often we feel like we have been married longer than we actually have.

Jacob and I decided that for our blog today we would reflect on some of the highs and lows of our first year together. We hope you enjoy!

Noelle's Highs

Living life with my best friend. I love that Jacob is the first face I see in the morning and the last at night. I love sharing my thoughts, feelings, dreams, disappointments with him. I love how he draws out a goofy side of me which rarely surfaced before him. I am thankful for his knowing of me and his willingness to challenge me to grow while loving me faithfully.

Discovering our differences. Anyone who knows us, knows that Jacob and I are about as different as two people can come. I will admit this brings challenges some days but I see how it is God's design for us all the time. Jacob is black and white, I see the gray. Jacob makes quick decisions, I labor carefully through mine. Jacob loves technology, I love a good book. We help balance each other. I have grown a great deal in not worrying about situations thanks to watching Jacob's ability to let his circumstances go and move forward. I believe God has knit us together in a way that is a bit mysterious and very rich.

Favorite memory thus far: When we were traveling in Africa, we spent a night in a town in the boondocks. Our room was the size of our bathroom at home and the bed was a twin. The electricity kept turning on and off so we finally gave up and sat in the dark talking about our experiences thus far -- the things which made us laugh and cry. I'd go anywhere in the world God called us to with my husband.

Noelle's Lows

Letting go of control. Marriage requires me to let go of my own agenda and my own way in order to serve and love my husband. Sometimes I find myself wanting to fight for something simply because it's the way I would do it or what I want. The Lord is constantly reminding me that marriage is about laying my life down for Jacob. It is no longer my way or his way but our way.

Jacob's Highs

My Best Friend: I just told Noelle that she stole my top high, but hey, this is definitely true for me as well.  Noelle has become my absolute best friend.  She makes me feel more comfortable that I've ever felt before and I enjoy my time more when I'm with her, whether it be sitting in front of the TV watching a movie together or eating a nice dinner out - she is by far my favorite companion.

Becoming a sensitive man: Now, if you know me, you would probably say I'm lacking in the "senstive" department.  Well, thanks to my bride and me learning great things about her personality, I've picked up a few things in this area.  I would say my sensitivity to things and people are increasing at an exponential rate.  Well, maybe not exponential.  Nonetheless, I'm learning to be sensitive because of Noelle's strength to relate with people.  I'm so thankful for her!

Favorite Memory: Our honeymoon.  There was something about our honeymoon that I will never forget.  The romantic dinners, hours and hours of beach time, waking up with the love of my life, exploring the Grand Cayman Islands - there are just so many things about our trip that were so memorable.  I often think about our honeymoon and I get a little sad, because I would pay money to be there again.

Jacob's Low:

Overcoming Selfishness: While at the same time this is something I should be celebrating, it's been one of the most difficult challenges I've faced during our first year of marriage.  I would say since our engagement, I started to realize how selfish I am.  Every act of service or putting Noelle first was sometimes a difficult decision. Now, it's becoming a challenge I look forward to :)

The greatest part? Even in our challenges, God is using our marriage to refine us and make us more like Him. When we lead a life surrendered to Christ, He will use any circumstance to mold and shape us. We look forward to the next year and all it holds. Until next time...

Jacob and Noelle

 

Jacob's Motorcycyle Diary - Cambodian Version :)

Let me start by saying that today was probably my favorite.  This morning, Eric, Ginny, Noelle and myself went to church.  The church consisted of about 25 foreigners mostly from New Zealand.  The preaching was great!  The sermon focused on a 2008 retrospect and looking forward into 2009. 

After a brief church service, we hopped over to the market for some fried noodles and iced coffee...oh so good.  The friend noodles had vegetables and a fried egg on top.  And of course I really loved the iced coffee.  It was super strong and it had this wonderful sweet cream added to it.

Once we got back to the apartment, Sarith and I decided to take a little stroll to the countryside...not in a car, but on a dirt bike.  Now, as you might assume, driving here in Cambodia is absolutely nuts.  It's not for the faint of heart and I would suggest taking out a hefty life insurance policy before you attempt it.  Okay, I might be acting a little dramatic, but I don't think my heart rate dropped below 170 until we got into the country.  Sarith is an amazing driver. He worked those road as if he owned them - scooting in and out of traffic, speeding by slow-moving trucks and barely missing the old men on bikes.  It's weird to think he grew up around this.  It was a piece of cake for him and here I am holding on for dear life! 

The outskirts of Phnom Penh were breaktaking.  I couldn't get enough of how beautiful everything was.  From the old woman working in the rice paddies to the smiling young man on the moto, everything seemed to leap out at me.  I feel as though Cambodia is becoming my new home.  At least the Lord is breaking my heart for the people here.  It will just be a matter of time before I stand hand in hand with good friends.  I can't wait!!  After visiting Sarith's mother and uncle, we rode up this steep mountain road to an overlook.  We got off the bike to take a break and stood there looking at Phnom Penh from afar. Beautiful! Absolutely beautiful. I was in awe.

You know - it's hard to explain how I feel.  It's easy to explain or express in words the beauty of landscape or things you can physically see, but it's difficult to communicate how my heart feels right now.  All I can say is that my heart continues to swell for the Cambodian people.  The more time I spend with different folks, the more my heart longs for them to know our Mighty God. 

Lastly, tomorrow is my anniversary. Noelle and I are getting away and staying at a nice hotel called The Quay.  I'm excited to process our trip so far and look back on our first year of marriage.  Stay tuned for our anniversary blog.  Challenges and reflection will be the focus.

Till tomorrow,
Jacob

Our Trip to the Government Orphanage

This morning, Jacob and I spent several hours at a local coffee shop, talking and working on a grant project for Sak Saum. Sak Saum is the branch of In His Steps which works with girls who have been trafficked or are at high risk for being trafficked. The girls are amazing. I love going upstairs to their sewing room and looking at the new projects they are working on. So amazing to see bright colored silks become evening clutches, huge handbags and twisty scarfs. I will be bringing some of their work back with me so stay tuned...

This afternoon, Sarith (IHSI's country director) took Jacob and I to the government orphanage in Phnom Phen. The orphanage is home to 160+ mentally/physically disabled children ages 1month-25 years. There are also a number of AIDS orphans who live there. I visited here the last time I came to Cambodia. It made a distinct impression on me -- I have thought about those children many times over the last 1 1/2 years.

I returned in search of one boy in particular. I sat with him two days last time. He probably suffered from cerebral palsy or something along this lines. I had found him in a side room, laying on a mat with limbs rigid. The staff couldn't get him to eat and I remember sitting next to him, stroking the sides of his cheeks while i stared into his face and mimicked for him the opening wide of my mouth. I loved it. I hoped to find him today and didn't. It makes me sad to think about what may have happened. 

What I did find was my joy of these kids. To be honest, nothing surprises me more. I did not expect two years ago to come alive in that situation. I expected to endure the experience, relieved to find the door on my way out after feeling weighed down by the heaviness of so many unwanted, difficult lives. Yet how often does God surprise us? To get down on a mat and peer into a child's eyes, rub their back and talk a bit to them -- sheer joy to me. Such a little act makes them smile, their twisted and bent limbs trembling with excitement. If I could, I would sit down in their midst and enjoy them for hours.

Do you know why? Because God loves them. He enjoys them. He takes delight in them. I think it pains Him to see their bodies and minds suffering -- that is not His best plan in a broken world. Yet He loves the unloveable. The ones that no one else wants, God desires more than we could begin to imagine. I love God with all my heart and want to grow, always be growing, in loving who He loves in the way He loves.

Noelle

Thoughts on Saang...

Saang: a province 40 minutes outside Phnom Penh. It's rural, primarily made up of farmers barely surviving...or not surviving at all.  It's a place that desperately needs the Lord.  Abuse, prostitution, forced labor and slavery is rampant in this agricultural countryside - so sad.   Yesterday, we had the opportunity to visit this area that In His Steps works in.  The Foundation Center - a safe haven for orphans all the way to age 25 to learn how to read, write, and be influenced from the Godly staff at In His Steps.  Basically, it serves as a hub for the community.  Loaves & Fish is also an active program in the Saang Province.  This program provides much needed food and medicine to the local community.  It's amazing to see how the Lord has provided funding and a great place for these kids to come for the day...and more!

Since day 1 of our trip, I've been asking the Lord to open my heart to the people of Cambodia.  And I think yesterday, when we visited the province, my heart began to swell for these precious people, especially the teenagers.  Often times, the father is absent leaving the kids behind without the important role of a man in their lives.  When we got to the Foundation Center, I instantly felt like that's where I could fit in - providing much needed discipleship to some of the young men in the community.  There is this one young man I met that was extremely shy when I approached him.  He lives with his Grandma and Grandpa but is confused about his identity.  The surprising part is that all it took was a little interaction and he opened up.  He became talkative (I couldn't understand him :) ) and wouldn't leave my side.  I loved being able to be present and communicate that someone cared about him.  I felt right at home!  This continued throughout the day with different families.  I would say this was my favorite day so far.

I love how my heart is exploding for the Cambodian people.  They have been through tremendous suffering, and I'm excited to see how the Lord will use Noelle and I here to help raise their spirits, communicate love to them and hopefully lead them to the Lord.

Today, we were carted around through Phnom Penh to see the sites.  We used the popular tuk tuk as our method of transportation to see where Cambodians leave sacrifices for the New Year, the beautiful river front and the local Western hot spots.  We also saw how Phnom Penh is turning into a Western empire offering upscale apartments for $2,500/month hoping to draw wealthy Americans and Europeans to bring Cambodia into the spotlight.  It's working.  In fact, last year, the economy grew 10%.  In the first quarter of 2008, the economy was already at a staggering growth rate of 25%!!  I couldn't believe it.  So as it may seem like a good thing that the economy is growing so quickly, the community is being left in the dust.  They aren't making more at their jobs and the rich aren't helping the poor.  That's why I love In His Steps. And that's why I can't wait to work with them!!

It's been a great experience so far - here in Cambodia.  I'm so thankful the Lord has made it clear to Noelle and I what the best is...for us.

Jacob